suffering produces... endurance (Romans 5)

I looked for and found this image years ago, when a dear woman friend was going through a messy family situation. I know we all have times when it seems Christ is asleep, and our little boat is sinking. Lord, wake UP or we shall perish! Yet I know He will not give us more than we can handle. And we only APPEAR alone. He is still with us, still in charge.

Christ's passion and death didn't save US from suffering, but allowed our suffering to be united with His, and have value because of His Divine Power to unify it all. He was not a SUBSTITUTE for our sinful humanity, but He was our representative. He has suffered, innocently, for all the sins of the world. Yet the storm didn't break Him.

This is a storm for our family. The storm metaphor is all around us! It started because of what Matt and I call "the perfect storm." Zoe was getting older, needing a different type of relationship from me. I was very busy running the household, and more comfortable meeting everyone's physical and academic needs. Her new on-line school was a source of companionship for her, but it quickly became a peer-obsession, with all of the futile high-school romances and catty friendships of a typical teen soap opera. She dived right in. At public school the next year, she attached to some really nice teachers- as if they were her parents, and found the same type of peer drama. It didn't help that both of her grandmothers have food/ weight issues- one is Jack Spratt... and the other is not. The skinny, weight-obsessed grandmother told her she needed to lose weight when she was 13. Matt and I knew she was carrying around an extra 15 pounds or so, but most kids do before they hit puberty, and we were sure it would melt off. At away school, she was both pleased with her newfound beauty and it's power... and scared by it. And I wasn't there, as a good mom, to guide her through it. And her dad was angry she was so lazy around the house. So she was alone, to figure out life without a guide except herself and some friends who were as rudderless as herself.

I'm learning right now- how to connect better with the kids. Making time to play more. Praising more. But even though Zoe is away at Remuda Ranch, there is still the storm damage of my negligence and the injuries she left behind.