It's been 3 weeks since we took Zoe to Remuda. Are things better? Well, she's eating! Thats a VAST improvement! And she says they are teaching her how to cope with anxiety (a major issue we JUST learned she had.) She says we had the attitude towards her of "be perfect or get out of the way." (her perception) She says we have left her unable to attach to anything or anyone because we always use it to threaten her into good behavior (her perception). She says she's believed her head was too small for her body since she was eight years old (MAJOR body misperception!)
Do I still think I made her sick? Well, a little. But the more she opens up about her thoughts and feelings and goals, the more I realize I am talking to a mentally ill person. You can't actually talk to her, she doesn't listen. Magnify basic adolescent deafness, insecurities, and irresponsibility by about a thousandfold, and you see how a conversation about reality is impossible.
She loves Remuda. The focus is all about her. I wonder how she'll take having to leave?
2 comments:
I just want to send my encouragement and empathy - it is so hard to parent through this.
I admire your clarity over what is her and what is the illness - no small feat.
Oh, and by the way: you DID NOT make her ill!
Sending my encouragement too - and my congratulations on your perceptiveness. NO, you did not make her ill but you can help her to get better.
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